Author Topic: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case  (Read 3704 times)

Offline Kyro (OP)

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Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« on: 15 August 2012, 07:46:01 PM »
One bright sunny glorious day at The Beer Store all the happy employees were frolicking in the store serving all the happy alcoholics in my fine town.

When suddenly an evil man, most likely named Ganondorf or No-Heart, entered the store. He proceeded to bring in about a dozen 24's of empty bottles. This is normally fine, and the happy bunny workers all hop along sorting and stacking cases. Though this time it was not quite as comforting.

The evil man brought in the most vile cases ever seen to man, or merman.

But one case stood out - one case whose wretchedness echoed throughout the store (and possibly our local Galaxy) like the diarrhea of an elephant. It was a case of James Ready (a brand sold in Ontario). It was so vile and so gut-wrenchingly stenchy that everyone in the store immediately gagged like Sasha Grey the moment the case entered the store. The other cases were bad - but this case was so bad we didn't even look in it; scared that the Pandora's Box of anal fecal matter might errupt into a volcano of filth capable of destroying our town.

I was the brave soul that sacrificed many nose cilia and brain cells that day and valiantly carried the potential dooms day device out the back door. As the town rejoiced in happiness, and I was rewarded with the highest honour possible, I still wonder what demons may have concealed themselves in that case... and they will surely haunt my dreams for eternity.

Witchdoctor1

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Re: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« Reply #1 on: 15 August 2012, 07:56:25 PM »
This, ..."gagged like Sasha Grey", = epicness. Thank you for that, good sir.

Offline Airbongo

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Re: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« Reply #2 on: 15 August 2012, 09:02:09 PM »
Daaamn wtf lol




Offline Akomine

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Re: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« Reply #3 on: 15 August 2012, 10:57:49 PM »
No-heart was me. I did it.
AND IT FELT GOOD.

Ako is gay and has superaids - Air

Offline Kyro (OP)

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Re: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« Reply #4 on: 15 August 2012, 11:01:32 PM »
Haunter used pointless dual middle finger!

... but it failed.

Offline cayrat

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Re: Beer Store Stories: Episode 3 - The James Ready Case
« Reply #5 on: 17 August 2012, 03:19:44 AM »
what you should had done.

"Everyone is crazy, some are just crazier then the rest of us."
"Let us test these hearts."
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Let dead people do your work for you.
~Robert Lang