So here is a log of a weird conversation me and a friend had. Note: I am The Shroom King and he is Kubskram and the luis we refer to is guisc99.
[18:53:17] KÜBSKRAM:i heard that ur a jr of jam
[18:53:17] KÜBSKRAM: *jar
[18:53:27] The Shroom King: i am.
[18:53:35] KÜBSKRAM: and have a relationship with Usain Bolt
[18:53:44] The Shroom King: nothing can stop our love
[18:53:54] KÜBSKRAM: ikr
[18:54:01] KÜBSKRAM: cos luis is ur baby boy
[18:54:15] KÜBSKRAM: btw great spelling skills
[18:54:16] The Shroom King: he filed for a divorce so i locked him in our fridge
[18:54:31] KÜBSKRAM: its spelt LEWIS not LUIS ya big dumbdumb
[18:54:39] The Shroom King: guess it looks like im havin' chilled bolt 2nite
[18:54:48] KÜBSKRAM: oh
[18:54:54] KÜBSKRAM: im sorry to hear that
[18:54:59] The Shroom King: dont be
[18:55:05] The Shroom King: we might bbq some ribs
[18:55:09] The Shroom King: some of his ribs
[18:55:22] KÜBSKRAM: you know from a 3rd person perspective you seemed like a loving family
[18:55:31] The Shroom King: we were
[18:55:33] The Shroom King: were
[18:55:39] KÜBSKRAM: so
[18:55:47] KÜBSKRAM: ribs ey
[18:55:54] The Shroom King: then he went and chested on me with that matress saleswoman nextdoor
[18:55:54] KÜBSKRAM: i sure love those
[18:56:07] KÜBSKRAM: CHESTED
[18:56:10] KÜBSKRAM: CHESTED
[18:56:13] The Shroom King: k
[18:56:15] KÜBSKRAM: What a bastard
[18:56:19] The Shroom King: ikr
[18:56:45] KÜBSKRAM: I mean if he cheated on you thats fine but being CHESTED my god
[18:56:57] The Shroom King: ikr
[18:57:02] KÜBSKRAM: you must feel so bad right now
[18:57:07] The Shroom King: he shoved her into that chest and did goodness knows what
[18:57:19] KÜBSKRAM: I dont want to know
[18:57:26] The Shroom King: nobody does
[18:57:29] KÜBSKRAM: goodness can keep the details
[18:57:38] The Shroom King: and his phone number
[18:57:50] KÜBSKRAM: he did it with goodness too
[18:57:55] KÜBSKRAM: a TRIANGLE
[18:58:01] The Shroom King: eww
[18:58:16] The Shroom King: i cant believe my best buddy, goodness, would betray me like that
[18:58:26] KÜBSKRAM: With goodness, Usain Bot and the matress saleswoman nextdoor
[18:58:41] KÜBSKRAM: she can be such a cowyou know
[18:58:55] The Shroom King: you mean the blonde-but-black matress saleswoman next door
[18:58:55] KÜBSKRAM: she borrowed my ivory spoon last yer
[18:59:01] KÜBSKRAM: and NEVER gave it back
[18:59:03] The Shroom King: i have it
[18:59:08] The Shroom King: she said it was hers
[18:59:25] KÜBSKRAM: what a ... im speechless
[18:59:31] The Shroom King: u want it back
[18:59:33] KÜBSKRAM: im gonna need that bck btw
[18:59:36] KÜBSKRAM: ye
[18:59:36] The Shroom King: its in my garage
[18:59:40] The Shroom King: next to my bike
[18:59:57] The Shroom King: the mutant snake in my kitchen took it there
[19:00:04] KÜBSKRAM: k ill just do my signature pelvis thrust and get in
[19:00:23] The Shroom King: is that the one that opens doors 5 inch thick of metal?
[19:00:31] KÜBSKRAM: but the snake might be an issue
[19:00:38] The Shroom King: its ok
[19:00:39] KÜBSKRAM: ye
[19:00:42] KÜBSKRAM: thats the one
[19:00:46 | Edited 19:00:47] The Shroom King: he is tame when you give him ice cream
[19:00:50] KÜBSKRAM: k
[19:00:57] The Shroom King: but only chocolate
[19:01:07] KÜBSKRAM: does he like Ben & Jeerys half baked cookie dough
[19:01:12] The Shroom King: maybe
[19:01:17] The Shroom King: but go with chocolate
[19:01:19] The Shroom King: to be safe
[19:01:38] The Shroom King: he gets angry other wise and makes you look round his stamp collection
[19:01:46 | Edited 19:01:50] The Shroom King: its really big and it takes like 3 hours
[19:01:50] KÜBSKRAM: i wont risk it ill pop into morrisons and grab so cheapass Morrisons Own
[19:01:57] The Shroom King: yeah that will do
[19:02:07] The Shroom King: i hear u comin in now
[19:02:08] KÜBSKRAM: oh no actually
[19:02:13] KÜBSKRAM: im a stamp conesure
[19:02:17] The Shroom King: oh
[19:02:18] The Shroom King: well
[19:02:21] The Shroom King: tell him
[19:02:23] The Shroom King: see what he says
[19:02:42] The Shroom King: cone sure
[19:02:48] KÜBSKRAM: yeah we can discuss the latest release of brick stamps
[19:02:57] The Shroom King: that sounds interesting
[19:03:02] The Shroom King: oh no hes here
[19:03:03] KÜBSKRAM: IT IS
[19:03:06] The Shroom King: eww
[19:03:14] KÜBSKRAM: what is he shedding
[19:03:18] The Shroom King: he does that thing where he looks over ur computer and breathes down ur neck
[19:03:26] KÜBSKRAM: oh
[19:03:29] The Shroom King: its not nice
[19:03:33] KÜBSKRAM: ehat a douche
[19:03:33] The Shroom King: he has egg breath
[19:03:53] The Shroom King: he had sausage and egg for breakfast
[19:03:54] KÜBSKRAM: has he been eating his unborn offsprings
[19:03:59] The Shroom King: yeah
[19:04:03] The Shroom King: with a side of sausage
[19:04:03] KÜBSKRAM: That cannibal
[19:04:14] The Shroom King: he likes beans
[19:04:16] KÜBSKRAM: im having second thoughts about our stamp meet up
[19:04:18] The Shroom King: but they make him gassy
[19:04:20] The Shroom King: why
[19:04:25 | Edited 19:04:27] The Shroom King: i told him and he is excited
[19:04:35] KÜBSKRAM: you right
[19:04:52] The Shroom King: and he wont give that spoon back if u dont
[19:04:52] KÜBSKRAM: ill just sit tight and try not to look at his shedding skin
[19:04:59] The Shroom King: k
[19:05:02] The Shroom King: bring ice cream
[19:05:07] KÜBSKRAM: ye
[19:05:14] KÜBSKRAM: can come empty handed
[19:05:29] KÜBSKRAM: that would be rude
[19:05:35] The Shroom King: if you bring enough he will do a trade
[19:06:01] The Shroom King: but bring like 2lbs
[19:06:04] KÜBSKRAM: we can do it around the back of ur garage
[19:06:16] The Shroom King: yeah theres some old sandbags there
[19:06:18] KÜBSKRAM: you know trench coats n stuff
[19:06:22] The Shroom King: we could make a sandpit
[19:06:26] The Shroom King: and make our coats sandy
[19:06:45] KÜBSKRAM: oh you know what i just relised
[19:06:49] The Shroom King: wut
[19:06:55] The Shroom King: dont tell me u gotta go out
[19:06:57] KÜBSKRAM: what if he takes the ice cream and eats it with the SPOOn
[19:07:01] The Shroom King: no
[19:07:03] The Shroom King: he wont
[19:07:08] The Shroom King: ben and jeery has a spoon
[19:07:11] The Shroom King: when u buy it remember
[19:07:12] KÜBSKRAM: you never know
[19:07:18] KÜBSKRAM: oh yeah
[19:07:25] The Shroom King: or go to dominos and get a spork just to be sure
[19:07:27] KÜBSKRAM: but wait im buying morrisons own
[19:07:36] The Shroom King: that means u will have to get a pizza too tho
[19:07:39] The Shroom King: we can share
[19:07:50] KÜBSKRAM: ill get like a 20 pack of plastics just to be on the safe side
[19:07:54] The Shroom King: yeah
[19:08:04] KÜBSKRAM: well the pizza sounds good though
[19:08:09] The Shroom King: and we can stick the left over spoons in old peoples' gardens
[19:08:16] KÜBSKRAM: especially if we get the hotdog crust
[19:08:18] The Shroom King: they will think its edible
[19:08:21] The Shroom King: yeah
[19:08:25] The Shroom King: and hotdog topping
[19:08:27] KÜBSKRAM: we'll do both
[19:08:28 | Edited 19:08:29] The Shroom King: and hotdog cheese
[19:08:32] The Shroom King: and hotdog base
[19:08:36] The Shroom King: and hotdog tomatoes
[19:08:46] KÜBSKRAM: while we eat pizza we can plant the plastic bombs
[19:08:46] The Shroom King: and hotdog bread
[19:08:50] The Shroom King: yeah
[19:08:56] KÜBSKRAM: k its a deal
[19:09:01] The Shroom King: can't wait
[19:09:01] KÜBSKRAM: we do it this tuesday
[19:09:05] The Shroom King: k
[19:09:17] KÜBSKRAM: ohwait i cant do tuesday
[19:09:19] The Shroom King: y not
[19:09:33] The Shroom King: oh me neither anyway
[19:09:38] KÜBSKRAM: i gotta go and get my stomach checked
[19:09:41] The Shroom King: goin bowling with the snake and his family
[19:09:46] KÜBSKRAM: oh
[19:09:48] The Shroom King: itss his birthday
[19:09:49] KÜBSKRAM: ok
[19:09:50] The Shroom King: u can come too
[19:10:02] The Shroom King: his mum makes the best birthday cake
[19:10:07] KÜBSKRAM: i would but i have to have a coffee with amanda
[19:10:15] The Shroom King: omg amanda
[19:10:18] The Shroom King: i hate her
[19:10:35] KÜBSKRAM: I cant call it off, ive denied her like 4 times
[19:10:47] The Shroom King: the other day she got in front of me in the lunch line
[19:10:54] KÜBSKRAM: wata cow
[19:10:55] The Shroom King: i cannot forgive a person for that kind of thing
[19:10:59] KÜBSKRAM: no
[19:11:04] KÜBSKRAM: im not surprised
[19:11:08 | Edited 19:11:19] The Shroom King: and she only ordered a salad
[19:11:09] KÜBSKRAM: you know what
[19:11:12] The Shroom King: what a cheapo
[19:11:18] KÜBSKRAM: screw amanda
[19:11:20] The Shroom King: yeah
[19:11:33] KÜBSKRAM: ill go bowling and have a fun time with the snake and the wife
[19:11:40] The Shroom King: no man
[19:11:48] KÜBSKRAM: wut
[19:11:49] The Shroom King: he was dumped like 2 weeks ago
[19:11:53] The Shroom King: hes pretty down
[19:11:56] KÜBSKRAM: oh
[19:11:57] The Shroom King: dont mention her
[19:12:10 | Edited 19:12:15] The Shroom King: but i will pick u up and 5pm tuesday night k
[19:12:15] KÜBSKRAM: well we better not do anything to remind him of her
[19:12:18] The Shroom King: k
[19:12:32] KÜBSKRAM: Shave your head cos remember sarah had hair
[19:12:38] The Shroom King: no
[19:12:39] The Shroom King: she was bald
[19:12:43] KÜBSKRAM: oh
[19:12:46] KÜBSKRAM: well
[19:12:51] The Shroom King: she went in the shower one time
[19:12:57] The Shroom King: with a showe cap on
[19:12:58] KÜBSKRAM: its a good thing se dumped him
[19:13:01] The Shroom King: and it never came off...
[19:13:08] KÜBSKRAM: my god
[19:13:10 | Edited 19:13:12] The Shroom King: i know
[19:13:16] KÜBSKRAM: sam
[19:13:18] The Shroom King: yes
[19:13:28] KÜBSKRAM: this conversation has been going on for 20 mins
